There is no Left!

Avishek Sahu
February 4, 2016

You see, what you do is make an omelet, a big round one, with a good amount of oil, and then let it simmer till its light pink. You can be sure then that the bottom is nicely cooked and somewhat mildly crusty, ready to be savored with copious amounts of black pepper. Wait a minute, are you going to have an omelet like that, roundly lain on a nice plate of crockery with its crusty side not showing—not showing how wonderfully it was cooked underneath?! No?! Then, do one thing, while it’s still simmering on the pan, take a nice wooden turner and turn the omelet around the middle—to the left preferably—so it looks neat in half a circle, with its raw sides hugging the juices off each other, and the nice outer shine beckoning you to its sinful delights. One minute, don’t sweat, you don’t now have half an omelet; it’s still the whole omelet, just turned to a side around the middle. What do you have on the right then? Well, nothing; air, gas, stale oil, whatever you might choose to call ‘nothing’!

That’s the story, that’s the story of the ‘Right.’ There is no ‘Right,’ it’s just nothing; it’s just a varied collection of non-issues peddled vociferously to defend the indefensible—that non-existent social theory called Capitalism. Oh, sorry, am I being mean, or rather, INSANE?! Let me explain: Now what exactly is the basis of capitalism? Answer: Hooliganism. Astounding, isn’t it? This entire corporate juggernaut coming at you with its wings flared urging you to make it big is based on nothing but hooliganism. That’s not an opinion; that’s a fact. The entire Capitalist dream of America was based on squatting on a foreign land through rape and plunder. The entire Capitalist Empire spreading its tentacles through every innocent hick longing for a decent life has earned its glories through outraging the modesty of the original inhabitants of the land we now know as the ‘Beacon of Democracy.’ In Hindi we call it ‘Kabza’. In Rourkela, India, there is a story about how people became land owners: when there was word going around that this place was habitable; some fifty years back, people, sometimes goons, came from all over and just claimed pieces of land all around. Thus they became the owners of the land. When market arrived, they were the landlords. That’s not just the story of Rourkela, India; that’s the story behind every capitalist dream that has ever materialized. Okay, so in a capitalist society merit wins right? How did the Walmart make its first dollar? Selling something I believe. Who made the stuff he was selling? Who fed him while he was schmoozing his marketing skills over a bunch of wide-eyed retards beholding the greatness of their messiah? Oh wait, I understand I am just talking about one major pillar of the right. I forgot about Trump’s rant against immigrants and Muslims. Now poor Americans say they need a preacher to tell them that’s divisive. They need a preacher to tell them that a nation made up of raping, plundering immigrants can’t possibly be against immigrants and not look retarded. They need a preacher to tell them it’s absurd to think of Muslims and Jews as different from Catholics; they in fact need Jesus to come back and remind them that we are all children of the same God. So since there is no Jesus around, it makes for the justification of the ‘Right’! Ha! Muslims? ISIS? No ISISian can breathe or digest Jihad. You need a preacher to tell you that? He can’t lift an American made gun if he can’t buy food, and he can’t lift his own gun to rape some sorry nubile, unless he can buy food. So are you telling me, that the ‘Right’ generates food out of the air without money? It needs money right? Where did this money come from—to feed the guys in ISIS da? From Coal right? Or oil, or gold, or silver, or some such stuff. Now who owns that oil? The Saudi Kings? How, on merit? No, no, don’t run. Your entire ‘Right’ enterprise is based on the tripe that Capitalism is all about merit. So answer me, what merit did the Saudi Kings have to own the oil? Okay, let me not be harsh on the kings. Let’s stick to America. Kentucky right, that hot bed of coal; oh no, the Koch brothers, the kings of Fossil. You telling me, merit got them through to owning the coal and the fossils? No bitch, someone somewhere up the line raped and plundered, then copulated to produce some wily kids who then got suited and booted to own Wall Street. That’s Capitalism. That’s the ‘Right Wing,’ which is just another space they illegally occupied to justify their existence; by turning the omelet around to the left, and squatting on the space left behind.

Sorry screwballs, we Bernie supporters are not interested in just the Left-wing. We are interested in the whole. More specifically, we are interested in the Right-wing; we are interested in occupying the Right-wing, we are interested in owning the Right-wing. We are just waiting for you to get out, and embrace some good old damnation.